When faced with a conflict in our lives, most of us repeat the story to ourselves over and over, revisiting the details and the reasons for our frustration. We so clearly understand our own perspective of the situation that we cannot fathom another perspective. Each time we loop back over our story, we deepen our belief that we are right.
As enticing as this process is, it does not help us move beyond conflict toward resolution. Ultimately, living like this reduces our perspective, drains our energy and keeps us from thinking clearly about our situation. Conflict coaching helps break the story-telling cycle by:
- Identifying goals: what outcome do you truly want?
- Broadening perspectives: what is the other's point of view?
- Exploring options: what possibilities exist that you haven't explored?
- Developing an action plan: how can you move forward to achieve your goals?
- Practicing new behaviors: to ensure your efforts are well-received.