Anyone who is transitioning through a separation - or has already separated - knows that during this time, emotions run high and feelings can get low. This is especially true when children are involved, and heightened even more during times like the holidays and special events. So how can we get our fellow co-parent to cooperate with us? It may start with you. Here are 25 ideas that can even be implemented as your New Year’s resolutions.
Recently, I was talking with a client about learning to co-parent with his former wife against all the odds. Like many parenting coordination clients, the years since their divorce had only increased their antipathy for one another. But, One of the many gifts of my profession is that I am reminded almost daily that when two parents come together to decide something for their child, they generally make a better decision than either one could decide individually.
Last week I took my 18-year-old son to the airport with his 5 pieces of luggage and sent him off to college. I drove the two hours to the airport with Sam and his father, who I’ve been divorced from since 2007. The event had the expected rollercoaster of emotions attached to it: the bittersweet loss of a child successfully heading out into the world. Sam is my second and last child to leave home and I’m in a sort of loss-fog.
Sometimes I feel I have nothing to say about conflict resolution, good communication or co-parenting. Like everyone else in the world, I get mad, hold grudges, raise my voice, and get pissed at my ex-husband. Who am I to tell anyone how to do these things?
A friend called recently in a state of concern. Steve’s ex-wife was moving across country and taking their 13 year old son with her. She was unbending on this point.