You are not the first person to find yourself attempting to raise strong, confident, loving children with someone you feel is crazy. I’ve noticed some patterns in high-conflict co-parenting. Here are 8 common traps that co-parents get stuck in and some tools for getting through them.
Anyone who is transitioning through a separation - or has already separated - knows that during this time, emotions run high and feelings can get low. This is especially true when children are involved, and heightened even more during times like the holidays and special events. So how can we get our fellow co-parent to cooperate with us? It may start with you. Here are 25 ideas that can even be implemented as your New Year’s resolutions.
The holidays are generally a stressful time for most people, and stress has the tendency to bring out the worst in us. But, what if you turn that energy around and give yourself the gift of improving your co-parenting relationship during this season of light and love, instead?
Recently, I was talking with a client about learning to co-parent with his former wife against all the odds. Like many parenting coordination clients, the years since their divorce had only increased their antipathy for one another. But, One of the many gifts of my profession is that I am reminded almost daily that when two parents come together to decide something for their child, they generally make a better decision than either one could decide individually.
The holidays. The warmth of family and friends. The festive meals and parties. The closeness of community. Or not. For many people, the holidays are a big fat let down. They shine a glaring spotlight on our lack of true connection, our loneliness or our deep-down-to-the-bone desire for something unnameable that is missing in our lives.
Last week I took my 18-year-old son to the airport with his 5 pieces of luggage and sent him off to college. I drove the two hours to the airport with Sam and his father, who I’ve been divorced from since 2007. The event had the expected rollercoaster of emotions attached to it: the bittersweet loss of a child successfully heading out into the world. Sam is my second and last child to leave home and I’m in a sort of loss-fog.