Maybe it’s because I’m a family mediator, but I’m often asked how to know when to get a divorce or some variation of that theme. If you’re reading this, you have probably asked yourself that question at least once and maybe countless times. It’s so disorienting, that people turn to Google for the answer. Type in “how to know when to get” in your search bar and the rest of the sentence pops up at top of the list. From personal experience I know that even asking it in the quiet of our own minds shakes our most fundamental beliefs about our sense of self. I felt deep shame when the Big D encroached in my thinking; shame stemming from how others might see me and how I might hurt people, followed closely by anticipated guilt about how it would impact my children if I followed that whisper of an idea to its natural conclusion.